I’m proud of my opinions. The more opportunities I have to develop my opinions, the more intelligent they become. An unfortunate reality is that facebook is not an appropriate forum for developing intelligent opinions.

If you have preferences about governance, you’re denigrated by accusations of partisanship.

If you dare to implicate the intrinsic politics at the center of a scandal or tragedy, you’re chastised for politicizing the news.

If you voice your convictions on any issue concerning morality, you’re scolded as a bigot.

If you state an informed generalization, you’re rebuked for…generalizing.

If you level a deserving allegation against a disagreer, they shame you for your judgmentalism.

If you proclaim a Bible verse or Biblical truth that inspires you, you are pitied and attacked by the militant atheists.

If you don’t get 5 likes for your opinionated posting, you’re told by your ideological opposition that you’ve become irrelevant, and you begin to entertain the possibility that you have desensitized your allies to your musings.

In short, if you’re a Christian conservative, your opinions don’t belong on facebook.

I suppose that’s why it’s called a “status update” – it’s not what you’re thinking or feeling, it’s what you’re doing. Facebookers should broadcast what restaurant or bar or movie or sports event or concert they forgot to invite you to. Facebookers should parade their arrival in life with constant reminders of their wedding photos or their brand new house or their angelic offspring. The free and civil exchange of thought or influence is beyond the scope of the status update.

That’s why I’m starting a column that nobody will read. I am returning my facebook interactions to the service’s intended purpose, and Twitter’s 140-character limit isn’t enough freedom to vent my vitriol.


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